Monday, October 28, 2013


As I hugged my little granddaughter one day, 
she looked at me and said, 
" Grandma...Why do you have so many cracks in your face?

My little daughter was about five or six, when one morning 
she saw me running my comb under the hot water.
 "Are you paralyzing your comb Mommy?"
I laughed, "No honey, you mean sterilizing."
She said, "Oh yeah, I forgot...Paralyze,
that's where Adam and Eve lived."

A little boy says to his mother, "But Mom, I can't go to my room,
I can't get the door open."

I said: "Two silkworms were in a race."
She said: "What was the results?"
I said: " A tie."

Some kids were playing outside when a lady came by
with her cute little dog. The kids began petting the dog,
except for one little girl. 
The lady said, "It's okay honey, you can pet peanuts."
"I can't the little girl said, "I'm allergic to peanuts."

Question & Answers:

Q: Why did the witch need a computer?
A: To do a spell check!

Q: What do you do when you cross poison Ivy with a 
      four leaf clover?
A: A rash of good luck!

Q: How does a barber do his work so fast?
A: With short-cuts!

Q: Why do mummies have trouble keeping friends?
A: They're so wrapped up in themselves!

Q: What kind of soap does a judge use?
A: Trial size!

Q: Why did the king go to the dentist?
A: To get his teeth crowned!

Q: Why can't a leopard hide?
A: Because he's always spotted!

Q: When is a car not a car?
A: When it turns into a driveway!

Q: Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?
A: In case he got a hole in one!

Q: What do you get if you cross a snowman and a shark?
A: Frostbite!

Q: What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
A: Claustrophobic!

Q: How do you know when Santa's in the room?
A: You see his presents!

Q: How do you turn me off?
A: Change the channel!