Sunday, March 20, 2011


There are three kinds of people in this world: Those who can count and those who can't!

Man:  Doctor, I have a serious problem.  I can never remember what I just said.
Doctor:  When did you first notice this problem?
Man:  What problem?


1.   If it's true that we are here to help others--then what exactly are the others here for?

2.   Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called "rush hour".

3.   Why do they lock gas station bathrooms?  Are they afraid someone will clean them?

4.   If you can still  move your lips--why do they call it lipstick?

5.   The teenager said, "Why is it so HARD to listen to EASY listening music?"

6.   If people with multiple personalities threaten to kill themselves--is it considered a hostage situation?

7.   You can't have everything--where would you put it?

8.   What do they use to ship Styrofoam?

9.   Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns--because they taste funny?

10.  Do cemetery workers prefer the--graveyard shift?

11.  If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it--Fed UP?

12.  Can vegetarians eat--animal crackers?

13.  Why do the people who know the least--know it the loudest?

14.  What does "cheese" say when it gets its picture taken?

15.  Why do they call the man who invests all of your money  a "broker"?

16.  If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't Hollanders called Holes?

17.  Why is bottled lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dish washing liquid is made from real lemons?

18.  Why are they called "hemorrhoids" instead of "asteroids"?

19.  Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?

20.  George said, "My wife's from the Midwest, very nice people there--very wholesome.  But, I keep wondering why they use words like 'cripes' as in, 'for Cripe's sake.'  Who would that be--Jesus Cripes? The son of 'Gosh' of the church of 'Holy Moly'?  Please, I'm not making fun here.  You think I wanna burn in 'Heck'?"

More funny stuff tomorrow or the next day!!

God Bless! See you next time!!