Wednesday, February 9, 2011

ARE YOU A HAPPY CAMPER?

SSHHH--MORE SECRETS TO A HAPPY RELATIONSHIP

What does it take for a happy well-adjusted relationship?  How about happiness?  Most likely everyone has their own opinions as to what makes a person happy.  As the old saying goes, "What's one man's meat is another man's poison."  Sounds somewhat medieval, but often true.
Folks appear to find happiness in different places and by various methods.


As John Gray said, "Men are from Mars; Women are from Venus."    Of course  if the relationship is bi-sexual, that may not apply.  However, human nature is human nature.  Hardly anyone wants to be without a mate--the tricky part is, hanging on to one.


As I stated in my previous blog on relationships--I have no expertise in this area of my life. Experiences--yes!  Expertise--no!  However, being happy (most of the time) I have no problem with.


FOLLOWING ARE A FEW SECRETS TO FINDING HAPPINESS IN YOUR RELATIONSHIPS:


1.    HONING IN ON HAPPINESS!


Instead of focusing on your partners mistakes, or trying to explain away flaws in your own character--zero in on the good attributes that you both possess.  


According to Dr. Robert Biswas-Diener, Ph.D., "Honing your strengths taps your emotional energy and boosts your sense of control and your self-esteem."  Thereby lifting your "happy" level!


2.    HAPPY TALK!


If you are a couple who is coasting along, seemingly happy enough, but have a problem communicating anything other than inconsequential chatter--make an effort to try talking things out.  It is important to have meaningful conversations in order to lift your spirits.


Sonja Lyubomirsky, Ph.D., Author of, "The How of Happiness," relates:  We are happier when we feel connected to people, and discussing topics you care about--whether it's your kids, diet or spiritual views--brings you closer than just chitchatting about the weather."


So--be consequential--start talking, laugh a lot, and stop the chit-chat!


3.    PEOPLE PLEASERS--SUCK!


Another happiness booster is letting go of being a perfectionist.  A study has shown that people who are cool, calm and less stressed from trying too hard to be "people pleasers" are a great deal happier than those who constantly have to do their ultimate best.


Dr. Robert Biswas-Diener, co-author of, "Happiness: Unlocking the Mysteries of Psychological Wealth" says, "Given that perfection doesn't exist, shooting for it is stressful and exhausting because you're never done."


The saying, "Perfect practice makes perfect" should only apply to those who are active in the  Arts, such as ballet, music painting, etc..


Couples need to lighten up and expect less from each other.  As Bobby McFerrin explained through his music years ago, "Don't Worry--Be Happy!"


4.    FRAME IT!


Pictures are fun!  Keep framed portraits of family members on your walls and in albums.  If your loved ones live far away, then at least you have reminders of them close by.  


What joy and gladness whenever your relatives come to visit and are able to share memories with you.


Since genealogy is a big thing right now--finding family roots can be exciting.  There is a new show on television called, "Who Do You Think You Are?"  It stars celebrity's looking for their kin.  Very interesting program.  Finding a Kunta Kinte or a George Washington in your family may be something you can do together as a couple.


You can incorporate letters into your albums as well.  These mementos are a legacy to your children who can carry on the tradition.  


Make happy history!


GOD BLESS!  SEE YOU NEXT TIME!!