Wednesday, June 22, 2011


I ran across this piece of poetry that I had written  a couple of years ago when I lived in Canyon County near Santa Clarita.  It sort of tells a story about what I was feeling at the time:


There's a Birch Tree outside my window,
It's white arms patchy where gnarly knots grow.
It does not stand like a sentinel all stately and stiffety,
It sort of slouches rather mindless of any security,
As it gently sways its patchy arms in various places, 
Perhaps waiting to witness one of its Makers infinite graces.

Inside--my window is covered with vertical plastic bars,
Slightly open to send shafts of light streaming down on faded floors,
Like cells, reminding me of the prison of pain I've come to know.
Makes me wonder, "When will this life let me go?"
If only God would lift this burden from my being,
Before it's my, "Day of Reckoning."

However, I keep finding reasons to keep me here,
Another story to write, another soul to comfort, so dear.
I see loved ones drowning in their own self-made prison.
I tell myself that is the only reason.
My soul has not repaired unto the realm above,
It senses my heart still yearns with love.

BUT--I am NOT God!
How dare I think that I can do His job!
I guess I looked around and thought He needed my help,
So all these mistakes I made that I took upon myself,
I failed to see my fault and upon others placed the blame.
GOD did just fine without me--before I ever came.

I'm old now, and have learned a thing or two.
I only want to do what He wants me to do.
I LOVE this faltering world in its misguided glory,
Perhaps I'm still here to write another story.
Could it be to research the way to end pollution?
How about that God?  Is there a just solution?

OR--perhaps an article or two on how to give,
In order that some other souls may live.
How about a care package to one fighting overseas?
Say a prayer for them and listen to their pleas.
OR--help that homeless, hungry child that cries,
Give that starving soul sustenance and love--lest it dies.

I have been reading, "Baha'u'llah: King of Glory".
It is truly quite an awesome story,
About God's Messenger for this day
Who has been sent to show us the way,
To learn how to live with LOVE for man,
And to help bring PEACE upon this land.

EVIL does heinous things in "The name of GOD."
IN THE NAME OF GOD?  That seems rather odd.
Where is it written that it's okay to smite another?
What I read is, "Love thy neighbor as thy brother."
An eye for an eye leaves everyone blind.
LOVE IS THE ANSWER--try to be kind.

I want to learn more about Baha'u'llah's plan,
To bring about PEACE upon this land, 
To help teach mankind about who GOD is,
To show others how we can do all this,
Then my life will have some worth,
Before I leave this moldering earth.

I'm just an old lady of eighty plus years,
Dying is really the least of my fears.
Being of use to somebody, somehow,
Is mostly what I think about now.
I have been a caregiver  nearly all of my life,
I've had up days, down days and days filled with strife.

At times, sitting here alone, in this cold lonely room,
Sort of gives me the feeling of impending doom.
I try with all of my might to think positively,
I cry a lot--and my nose gets all snively.
I swear to God up above--I am NOT depresssed,
As a matter of fact--I feel quite blessed!

I guess my theory is--when you're a kid, you want to be grown,
Then, when you're grown, you want to be on your own.
Soon with luck and some help from above,
You find that right someone and fall in love. 
Hopefully you have children to fill your life,
Along with the growing pains and strife.

SUDDENLY--a mid-life crisis occurs.
Was it his fault or was it hers?
Often, and in due course,
We hear that dreaded word--DIVORCE.
Then there is therapy, and let it be said,
Most women would go, men would not be caught dead.

Our children suffer the most I'm afraid,
When they are not aware of the plans that are made.
The judge says, "Six months with one parent, six with the other."
OR--"You'll visit your father, you'll live with your mother."
So, parents then tend to go on their own way,
While the kids, still unaware simply have no say.

Put your EGO on hold if you can,
Try to listen to the other man.
What does it gain to always be right,
If a soul is lost because he's not right in your sight?
Try the "Let go, and let GOD" thing,
What you learn may make your heart sing.

Now lately I've stated that, "LOVE IS THE ANSWER",
I'll not sit it out, I will be a dancer.
If our life gets to that, "Point of no Return",
There  must still be something that we need to learn.
If your life is in upheaval, and you're feeling odd,
Call Him whatever you want, but turn to YOUR GOD.

You don't have to listen to me--I'm just an old crone,
With not much to do but compute, and sit by the phone.
You may not believe it--but with age comes wisdom,
When I was younger I too thought that dumb.
But, the older I grew, the more I knew,
The adage I thought dumb, was wise and true.

All this writing is really for me,
It's the way I get my feelings out you see.
However, if my rantings have lifted your spirit,
OR--made you laugh, OR cry--I'm glad to hear it.
It means this old crone's mind is still in tact,
And that my dears is a matter of fact.

There is a Birch Tree outside my window,
With white patchy arms where gnarly knots grow,
I've opened the plastic slats to let in the morn.
That's odd, the faded carpet no longer seems worn.
I've written my feelings down, both glad and sad,
Meditated, prayed and heard GOD say, "Now see, it isn't so bad!"


Just before I moved, they cut down my beloved Birch Tree, and I felt so sad. But here I have a huge tall Christmas (Spruce) Tree outside my window, and now I don't feel so bad.

I hope I haven't taken up too much of your time.  Just thought that if anyone out there is feeling down, this might cheer you up, because everyone feels low sometimes.



Because of my health I had to move to an area where the air is clearer. I now live in beautiful downtown Santa Monica, seven blocks from the ocean. It's not Hawaii, but it's not bad!  Now  the view out my window is of Santa Monica Mountains, Santa Monica, Bel Air, Brentwood, Hollywood Hills, Angeles Crest
Mountains, San Gabriel Mountains, East as far as the eye can see,  Century City, Mid City, East Los angeles, Los Angeles, South Los Angeles, Saint John's Hospital, Playa vista, and points south.  Right across the street is Reed's Park. The view is breathtaking on a clear day, and sparkling at night with all of the lights. I live on the 14th floor of a Senior Apartment Building. I am an acri-phobic, but I'm dealing with it.  I lived on the 14th floor in Hawaii too, and I dealt with it there.  One simply does what one has to do...right?