I HAVE THIS NEW FRIEND, SHE'S A SWEET ELDERLY WOMAN (like me-the elderly part :) BUT A BIT OF A CYNIC--AND OFTEN FUNNY. SHE SPENDS MOST OF HER TIME IN A WHEEL CHAIR IN HER APARTMENT OR IN THE LOBBY AFFLICTING CYNICISM ON HER PEERS. SHE REMINDS ME OF "MARGE" THE COMIC CHARACTER, NOT IN LOOKS--IN ATTITUDE. THE FOLLOWING LIST OF "I'VE LEARNED" STATEMENTS ARE FOLLOWED BY--WHAT OPAL MIGHT SAY:
WHAT I'VE LEARNED!
1. No matter what happens, or how it seems today, life goes on, and tomorrow is another day!
WOMS: "YEAH! AND THEN TOMORROW COMES!"
2. Regardless of how you got along with your relatives, you'll miss them when they're gone!
WOMS: "H***! I DIDN'T MISS THEM WHEN THEY WERE HERE!"
3. Making a "living" is not the same as making a "life."!
WOMS: "YEAH, BUT IT SURE IS EASIER TO MAKE A "LIFE" IF YOU'RE "MAKING A LIVING"!"
4. Sometimes you get a second chance!
WOMS: "DUH! YOU WOULDN'T NEED A SECOND CHANCE IF YOU GOT ONE THE FIRST TIME AROUND!"
5. You don't have to go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands, You need to be able to throw something back!
WOMS: "HMMMM--LIKE ALL THOSE LEMONS SOME IDIOT TOLD YOU TO MAKE LEMONADE WITH!"
6. Whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decisions!
WOMS: "I ONCE SAID THAT TOO--RIGHT BEFORE I GOT MARRIED!"
7. Even if I'm in pain--I don't have to be one!
"WOMS: THEN DAMMIT, GIVE ME SOMETHING FOR THE PAIN!"
8. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back!
WOMS: "NEVER-MIND THE HUGS AND THE PATS--SHOW ME THE MONEY!"
9. People will forget what you said, they will forget what you did, but they will never forget how you made them feel!
WOMS: "ESPECIALLY IF YOU MADE THEM FEEL LIKE "BULL-PUCKEY"! ME--NOT ONLY WOULD I NOT FORGET HOW THEY MADE ME FEEL, THERE'S NO WAY IN H*** I WOULD FORGET WHAT THEY SAID OR WHAT THEY DID--THAT'S JUST THE WAY I AM!!
10. Every day you should reach out and touch someone!
WOMS: "TOO FRIENDLY COULD BE DEADLY--YOU COULD GET THE S*** KICKED OUT OF YOU!"
11. You can tell a lot about a person by how he/she handles a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights!
WOMS:
a. "IF YOU FORGOT YOUR UMBRELLA AND GALOSHES--YOU'RE A DUMMY;
b. IF YOU TEAR YOUR HAIR OUT IN ANGER GOOF-BALL--YOU MIGHT GO BALD;
c. YOU WON'T NEED LIGHTS IF YOU GO GREEN AND SAVE A TREE--YOU COULD ALSO SAVE YOUR SANITY, AND YOUR FAMILY MIGHT EVEN THINK YOU'RE A HERO. DON'T COUNT ON IT THOUGH--IT DIDN'T WORK FOR ME!"
Well--there you have Opal in a nutshell. I have one more thing that I have learned:
I still have a lot to learn! Hmmmm, I wonder what Opal might say!
GOD BLESS! SEE YOU NEXT TIME!!
WHAT I'VE LEARNED!
1. No matter what happens, or how it seems today, life goes on, and tomorrow is another day!
WOMS: "YEAH! AND THEN TOMORROW COMES!"
2. Regardless of how you got along with your relatives, you'll miss them when they're gone!
WOMS: "H***! I DIDN'T MISS THEM WHEN THEY WERE HERE!"
3. Making a "living" is not the same as making a "life."!
WOMS: "YEAH, BUT IT SURE IS EASIER TO MAKE A "LIFE" IF YOU'RE "MAKING A LIVING"!"
4. Sometimes you get a second chance!
WOMS: "DUH! YOU WOULDN'T NEED A SECOND CHANCE IF YOU GOT ONE THE FIRST TIME AROUND!"
5. You don't have to go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands, You need to be able to throw something back!
WOMS: "HMMMM--LIKE ALL THOSE LEMONS SOME IDIOT TOLD YOU TO MAKE LEMONADE WITH!"
6. Whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decisions!
WOMS: "I ONCE SAID THAT TOO--RIGHT BEFORE I GOT MARRIED!"
7. Even if I'm in pain--I don't have to be one!
"WOMS: THEN DAMMIT, GIVE ME SOMETHING FOR THE PAIN!"
8. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back!
WOMS: "NEVER-MIND THE HUGS AND THE PATS--SHOW ME THE MONEY!"
9. People will forget what you said, they will forget what you did, but they will never forget how you made them feel!
WOMS: "ESPECIALLY IF YOU MADE THEM FEEL LIKE "BULL-PUCKEY"! ME--NOT ONLY WOULD I NOT FORGET HOW THEY MADE ME FEEL, THERE'S NO WAY IN H*** I WOULD FORGET WHAT THEY SAID OR WHAT THEY DID--THAT'S JUST THE WAY I AM!!
10. Every day you should reach out and touch someone!
WOMS: "TOO FRIENDLY COULD BE DEADLY--YOU COULD GET THE S*** KICKED OUT OF YOU!"
11. You can tell a lot about a person by how he/she handles a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights!
WOMS:
a. "IF YOU FORGOT YOUR UMBRELLA AND GALOSHES--YOU'RE A DUMMY;
b. IF YOU TEAR YOUR HAIR OUT IN ANGER GOOF-BALL--YOU MIGHT GO BALD;
c. YOU WON'T NEED LIGHTS IF YOU GO GREEN AND SAVE A TREE--YOU COULD ALSO SAVE YOUR SANITY, AND YOUR FAMILY MIGHT EVEN THINK YOU'RE A HERO. DON'T COUNT ON IT THOUGH--IT DIDN'T WORK FOR ME!"
Well--there you have Opal in a nutshell. I have one more thing that I have learned:
I still have a lot to learn! Hmmmm, I wonder what Opal might say!
GOD BLESS! SEE YOU NEXT TIME!!
I talked to Opal the other day on the phone, she's still the same Opal. Ya gotta love her.LOL
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